It’s a pity but world is imperfect. Maybe if everything had gone smoother the world would be a dull place to live in. But still some minor events make us upset. We may either insult the other people or get insulted ourselves. Insult is an unpleasant thing by all means but for fragile and sensitive personalities that may be a cause of depression. So how to answer the abuser if he insults you? There are various strategies to act in such situation but I prefer not to answer. First or all impudence and rudeness makes me feel uneasy. Of course later I find a pile or possible sharp and witty answers but it’s already late. Moreover I suppose that there is no point to waste every second of your precious time for arguing with the one who allows himself to insult the others. I won’t make him better anyway if I start arguments. The last reason for my passive attitude is weak vocal cords. Every tension causes pain and discomfort. And the one with quiet and soft voice won’t take over noisy ill-mannered nuisance. The cycle “insult-answer insult” may be never ending. It is more likely the I would finally give in and allow the abuser to celebrate his victory. I prefer to cut off the mutual insulting by ignoring it from the very beginning. That doesn’t mean I always act right, in addition I don’t always ignore insults. I developed some tips for myself that help me when I face boorishness. Probably you would find some of them helpful.
- First of all take it easy. Don’t be upset, as you are not guilty of the bad mood of ill manners of other people. They are the way there are. There is nothing to do with you.
- Remember that vain criticism and pointing the disadvantages out have nothing in common. So you may ask your opponents directly is there anything he might suggest. Usually it stupefies him.
- If you don’t know how to retain your self-respect answering the insult use your sense of humor and natural wit.
- Try to stay calm and speak as usual. Don’t cry or raise your voice. Concentrate on your emotions but not on the sharp words of others. Sometimes it’s enough to ask politely the abuser to repeat his phrase pretending you haven’t grasped it precisely. Only the rudest person ill repeat the insulting words.
- Pretend you are absorbed by your own thoughts. Pay less attention to the ill-mannered person than to an annoying fly.